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Hanging In There!

09 Mar

Wisdom’s Not My Strong Suit

Hanging In There

Hanging In There

These days, I walk with the assistance of a cane.  On days when either senility or vanity gets the better of me I leave the cane at home.  I hobble my behind down the street ignoring the pain and the lopsided gait all in hopes of blending in.  Yeah, those of you that know me already can guess where this story is headed.  Those of you that don’t, stick around. 

The day before yesterday I had a multitude of errands to run.  Some took longer than anticipated and I had to hurry to catch my shuttle service.  In a headlong rush out the wrong exit of the shopping center, I wound up on a side of the property that is closed off by gates and wrought iron fencing.  By then my leg hurt so bad there was no way I was going to backtrack through the shopping center to the main entrance.  Being the intelligent being that I am, I decided, “Hey, you can climb that fence.  Piece of cake!”

On the side of the fence enclosing the shopping center are decorative cement blocks that resemble steps.  The fence is set in the top blocks so that was no major feat.  What I hadn’t expected was the small ledge and steep drop on the other side of the fence.  Being the glass is half full kind of gal, I still thought I had this. (Who was I kidding?) So I braced myself to jump from the small ledge onto the ground below.  My foot slipped of the ledge before I could jump and then the bad leg gave out altogether.

Okay, so now you probably have a mental picture of a nutcase sprawled on the ground.  Not nearly so lucky.  Dummy me didn’t notice the hood of my jacket was caught on the curly spikes that protrude from the fence.  Guess who was hanging by the hood of her jacket for what seemed like an eternity?  I was finally rescued by a group of teenagers, but not before they took pics with their cell phones.  Impertinent puppies!  Did I catch my shuttle?  No.  Would I do it again?  Hmm…  Who said wisdom came with age?

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2 responses to “Hanging In There!

  1. Anonymous

    March 18, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    This is by far the most entertaining and hilarious real life incident I’ve read. I shared it on my facebook page and immediately got an applause from posting it. (hope you don’t mind). Well, if you left the cane behind for prideful reasons, hanging off the barbed wire from your hoody with your feet dangling whilst teenage saviors take photos to upload to youtube before helping you down is a given in today’s society. Poor girl .. I had to read it ‘twice’ to take in every detail of your thought process as you admirably set out without the cane and no obstacle was gonna stop you! You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad you’re on my team.

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    • NotWiredThatWay

      March 19, 2013 at 3:59 am

      I’m sorry to say, this isn’t the first time I’ve been left swinging from something somewhere. I’m not the most graceful or agile person but that doesn’t stop me from putting myself in stupid situations. Years ago I used to try so many activities that didn’t agree with my level of dexterity, I’d go to work bruised and battered. After weeks of this, my boss finally pulled me aside and, delicately as he could, asked me if I was being domestically abused. That was the best laugh I had in months. After I explained the situation, he stared at me a few moments like I’d lost my mind. (I’m quite used to that!) Later that day he brought me a chair with a better seat cushion and never asked me another question that wasn’t work related. Frankie was a good guy.

      As for the little termagants that helped me off the gate. I’m almost positive my pic ended up posted on one if not all of their facebook pages. One guy was laughing so hard as they walked away I kind of hoped he choked. I know, not very charitable of me. It was vanity and stupidity on my part and I paid dearly. Like I said, age and wisdom don’t necessarily go hand in hand.

      Btw, what team is that? Team clumsy?

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